Some Bitch-Ass Shit: A Brief Diachronic Account of Three English Expletives

Final Project by Alden Harrell for Diachronic Linguistics LING-5570

Introduction

Swear words are an undeniably fascinating linguistic aspect of culture, and a fun one at that. They can be used in a myriad of ways semantically and can be some of the most grammatically flexible words in a language. Just the word fuck, for example, can be used as a noun (“That exam was hard as fuck!”), a verb (“Fuck that exam!”), as part of a pronoun (“Look at fuck-face over there trying to ace the exam!”), and, of course, the all too popular interjection (“Fuck! I can’t believe he actually aced it!”). Not only are these words fun and versatile, but they also tend to be quite interesting etymologically, having undergone numerous semantic and syntactic changes over time. In order to examine these phenomena more closely, let’s take a look at three English swear words and their journeys through time.

Shit

The word shit, according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, can be traced all the way back to Proto-Indo-European (PIE) with the root *skei-, meaning “to cut” or “to split.” This is the same root believed to have become the words shed, conscience, and, hilariously, science. From PIE the word evolved first to the Proto-Germanic *skit, then to the Old English scite, then Middle English schītte, before finally arriving at the modern shit we all know and love. Along this journey, it has undergone a few key linguistic changes, namely semantic broadening, syntactic reanalysis, and, occasionally, amelioration.

First, many new semantic meanings for the word have arisen over time. Shit and its earlier forms originally only referred to excrement, but semantic broadening has given us a number of new meanings. You might refer to a pile of detritus as a “pile of shit.” Do you have a long list of chores and errands to take care of? It sounds like you have “a lot of shit to do.” Maybe you got into some trouble with the law and now you’re “in deep shit.” It’s easy to see how these examples could be classified as metaphor, as they are all, generally speaking, negative.

There’s an interesting case, however, with a more recent ameliorated usage of the word shit, as in, “This party is going to be the shit!” (meaning it will be a party for the ages). According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first documented use of the shit to refer to something excellent, as opposed to the more common opposite use of shit described above, was in a 1987 unpublished typescript manuscript of "campus slang" at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Clearly shit has undergone quite a bit of semantic broadening over the years.

Along with this semantic broadening has come syntactic reanalysis, with new lexical classes being added over time. Originally the word was utilized mainly as a noun, to refer to excrement. Over time, however, shit picked up a number of new lexical classes, including verb and interjection. Take, for example, the cases, “I don’t mean to shit on your idea,” and “Oh shit! I can’t believe it!” Neither of these cases would be possible without syntactic reanalysis. Fig 1 shows the frequency of usage of the word shit over time, from 1800 to 2019. It is clear that usage of shit has increased quite dramatically, particularly spiking since the year 2000.

Bitch

Etymologically bitch comes from the Old English word bicce and earlier, likely, from the Old Norse bikkjuna, both referring to a female dog. While the usage of “dog” as an insult can be dated all the way back to ancient Greece, the earliest use of bitch specifically as a derogatory term for women dates back to the 15th century and, according to English language historian, Geoffrey Hughes, referred to sexual behavior, serving as a metaphorical extension of the behavior of a “bitch in heat.” This derogatory usage of bitch toward women has largely persisted over time, with a few key caveats.

First, there has been an interesting semantic narrowing split based on gender. When women are called bitches, it is usually to indicate that they are in some way overly domineering, controlling, or rude. Note that this usage is often accompanied by a size adjective like “huge” (as in, “She’s a huge bitch.”) On the other hand, if a man is called a bitch, it is usually to achieve the opposite effect—to indicate that he is in some way subordinate, weak, or cowardly. To further cement that this sense is in direct contrast to the sense targeted at women, it is typically accompanied by the opposite size adjective, “little” (as in, “Stop being a little bitch”).

Along with this gendered narrowing split, bitch has undergone some of the same linguistic changes over time as shit—syntactic reanalysis and amelioration, both of which have taken place somewhat recently, relatively speaking. Around the 1930s, bitch acquired a new lexical class as a verb meaning “to complain,” a sense that is still quite common today. More culturally interesting, however, is the amelioration of the noun bitch. With the advent of the modern feminist movement, women have sought to reclaim the term that has been used against them by misogynists for centuries, using it to signify confidence and power. This reappropriation of the term bitch serves to subvert the sexist assertion that if a woman stands up for or asserts herself, she is nothing but rude and domineering.

Fig 2 shows the frequency of usage of the word bitch over time, from 1800 to 2019. While bitch was clearly used a bit more frequently than shit between 1800 and 2000, it is clear that, much like shit, its usage has increased exponentially since then.

Ass

Much like shit, ass can be traced back to PIE with the root *ors-, which later became the Greek orros, then Old English ærs, and finally arse. While many European dialects of English still employ the form arse, the North American English variation typically utilizes the non-rhotic ass. There are two main theories that account for the change from arse to ass. One admittedly less exciting theory is that there is simply a trend of /r/ loss before /s/. A particularly relevant example of this would be the /r/-drop in the word “curse,” which becomes “cuss.” On the other hand, there is another, more intriguing theory, that of taboo replacement. The theory claims that, in an effort to be more polite, people opted for the word ass instead of arse, as it was simply the more common word for donkey.

In a fascinating and ironic turn of events, there was, subsequently, another round of taboo replacement regarding the word ass. As its status as a swear word became more ubiquitous, it became disfavored to use the term ass to refer to a donkey. While the use of the term ass to refer to a donkey can be traced back to before Shakespeare, the first recorded use of donkey wasn’t until the 1780s. Since the 18th century, thanks to the process of taboo replacement, donkey has gradually ousted ass.

More recently, as with shit and bitch, ass has undergone a process of syntactic reanalysis. Whereas the others have gained one or more lexical classes, however, ass has been reanalyzed as what could be argued to be a productive nominalizing morpheme. Take, for example, the words dumb, fat, and hard. Alone, they are simply adjectives. With the addition of -ass, however, these words become nouns—dumbass (“one who is dumb”), fatass (“one who is fat”), and hardass (“one who takes no metaphorical shit”).

Fig 3 shows the frequency of usage of the word ass over time, from 1800 to 2019. Interesting to note is how much more frequent this word was than both bitch and shit around the year 1800 (~0.001% of the English corpus, compared to ~0.0001% and near 0% for bitch and shit, respectively). From then on the term became less and less frequent, perhaps as a consequence of its taboo replacement, until (yet again) the year 2000, when usage shot up exponentially.

Discussion and Conclusion

English expletives, as we have seen, have quite fascinating etymologies and, diachronically, have evolved in quite interesting and varied ways. In many cases, the ways these words develop over time mirror the growth and change of culture. This fact is especially apparent in cases like bitch. While misogyny has been an issue for centuries, the increased usage of swear words at large, and specifically the word bitch, has really highlighted the problem recently. The fact that there is a gendered split with this word at all indicates some sort of imbalance, but the semantics of this split really speaks volumes. The word historically has been used to refer more frequently to women. The fact that, when this term is applied to men, it is used to diminish them underscores the notion that the most insulting thing a man can be called is a term typically reserved for women. The more recent amelioration of the term by women themselves also illustrates the growing push to overturn and fight back against these misogynistic tendencies.

None of this would be possible—or at least not as easily traceable—without the rapid increase in usage of expletives since the year 2000. But why did this rapid increase occur? Perhaps the dawn of the internet ushered in a newer, cruder era of online vernacular. Maybe the internet inherently carries with it more documentation and, therefore, more recorded instances of swear words. While there is no doubt some truth to both of these claims, I believe that, once again, the increase in expletive usage parallels cultural changes. Specifically in the United States, as we depart and distance ourselves from our religious and colonial roots, the social stigma surrounding swear words has become much less severe. Consequently, as swear words have become less taboo in recent years, their usage has shot up.

As we have seen, expletives have quite an interesting place in the history of the English language and have quite varied etymologies and journeys through time. By examining the cases of shit, bitch, and ass, we can see that their usages have undergone several fascinating semantic and syntactic changes and that they can affect and be affected by changes in culture. Swear words are not only fun ways to spice up language, but important data points that can teach us a lot about both culture and language more generally.

REFERENCES Fairman, Tony (1994). "How the ass became a donkey". English Today. Harper, Douglas. "ass". Online Etymology Dictionary. Harper, Douglas. "bitch". Online Etymology Dictionary. Harper, Douglas. "shit". Online Etymology Dictionary. Hughes, Geoffrey. Encyclopedia of Swearing: The Social History of Oaths, Profanity, Foul Language, and Ethnic Slurs in the English-Speaking World. Armonk, N.Y.: M.E. Sharpe, 2006

Thoughts and Feelings about Tinned Fish

by Emy Butler and Jordan Murphy

Jordan Murphy: First, you gotta understand terroir. 

Terrior (pronounced “tare-wahr”) is basically the cornerstone of the whole appreciation of wine and food. It's this French idea that wine and food are supposed to be about a sense of time and place. It’s an experience, an appreciation of a specific moment, an homage to someone’s craft. Food and wine are expressed in a myriad of ways based on the palate of the consumer, the technique of the chef/winemaker, the quality of the soil, the pedigree of the winery or restaurant, the weather that year, the lunar cycle, a love of farming, the history of a village, the soul of a community …it’s fascinating and complicated and historic and dreamy and blunt and gross and scientific and surprising, and terroir celebrates every bit of that nuance. 

My friend Emy had been asking about tinned fish for a while when I told her to put her money where her gills are and come taste some with me at Redneck Beach. Little did we know what our day would turn into. We babysat some old pawpaws grandchildren so he could flirt with his girlfriend. We were some of the only people there who spoke English. And we enjoyed every minute of it, the last hot day of 2022, in some perfect blend of chaos and peace. Which also describes the dichotomy of eating seafood out of a fucking’ can. Lemme tell you though if you're buying the right stuff, there's some fresh-ass, delicious food in that tin.

Emy Butler: Had my dear friend and I not outran the police that one night, I would have never known about the tinned fish community.

Cockles in cold pressed grapeseed, ok, white tuna belly filets, Galician mussels in Spanish sauce. Fish roe in spicy olive oil. Fish balls. Peppered mackerel. Brined anchovies. Infinite and personal mollusks swimming in hot juice, hiding in the dark, wading. These lil canned po’ boys were low cost with high protein starting in the early 1900s. Now, there is an unforeseen grip that tinned fish has on an entire culture, and to an extent, I do get it.

Shelf stable, eco-friendly, an endless variety, and still affordable for now. However, gentrification has reached the fish aisle. Trout in a can is being sat next to a passion fruit next to a $45 local soft cheese. Growing up as an underprivileged girl raised on potted meat and saltines that made her way through life in the service industry, one can say, I'm most definitely intrigued. 

I told my criminal of a friend to take me to a horrible place. There we would indulge in this pop-top of strange social status swimming in all the darkest corners of the unknown kitchen cabinet. Under a broken beach umbrella, we lay out our Hot Girl Spread on a pink and black sarape, outlooking the murky and movey Tennessee, its floor filled with its own version of radiated clams and mussels. Atop the sandshore of Taluca Beach, we toast our tins. And to Diaper Island, our Ranch Waters.

We sat and ate what we could but ended up baptizing each other in the river, packing up the fish and all the ants that red clay could house, then blasted Yelawolf down the windy, dirty country roads back home, then met with another girlfriend to just eventually split a bag of Krab Kingz. Special thanks to the two men in Birmingham that helped jack up the car and changed out tires after outrunning the cops. Without them, CHUM wouldn't have had a CHUM Bucket this time. 

JM: A few months ago, the owner of Russ over at Research Park Wine Merchants introduced me to the concept of Merrioir (pronounced “mare-wahr”), which is like terroir, but under the sea. Blew my fucking mind. I was already a fan of conservas (Spanish and Portuguese tinned fish) thanks to the restaurant Domaine South who had a little resection on their menu dedicated to them last summer, and Russ only furthered my appreciation. He showed me a copy of a book that his friend Chris McDade wrote called The Magic of Tinned Fish and I was immediately hooked. It's a fascinating and educational book about how to appreciate, cook with and eat conservas. He suggests high-quality brands, tells you how to pack a Spanish seafood picnic, and includes through-provoking recipes like anchovy sauce on a charred steak, alongside twists on old classics like dank-ass tuna salad sandwiches. Research Park Wine Merchants keeps a great line of conservas on hand, so I bought a $16 tin of La Brujula Yellowfin Tuna Belly there and experienced a spiritual awakening when I ate it that night, straight out of the mother fucking can, and was reminded that some of the best things in life need no accouterment.

This piece was first published in CHUM Vol.8

 
 

Today in Sports, Chef Curry Serves Up Baseball Hits

Chef Ryan Curry is the Executive Chef AND Director of Food and Beverage at the Rocket City Trash Pandas - America's Premier Minor League Baseball Team in Madison, Alabama.

With their Undefeated 2020 Season or "The Perfect Season,"… 2020 was the year of "Just Trash." The Pandas anticipated a BLAST OFF to their inaugural season, but instead, fans from a distance chanted, "This is Trash!"

So hopefully, in 2021, we can enjoy a baseball game—none of this "watch it on TV" bullcrap! 

But actually, go to a game because there is something to be said about ballpark ambiance that can add to the whole baseball experience. 

You got the sights of mascots clowning around, the jumbotron, and people clamoring over the t-shirt toss. The 'crack' sound of a baseball bat, the 'roars' the 'cheers' and the "boos" of a crowd, the funny sound effects in between pitches, the traditional sound of organ music (which feels like the only place you hear it these days maybe besides church), and a hawker yelling, "Get yer cold beer here!" 

And, of course, the food!

Food is everything, and everything revolves around food. People flock for food, people go for the food, people fight over food, people want food, people love food, people NEED food!

The nice thing about a ballpark is that you can find all sorts of grub there, from a dawg to sesame-crusted ahi tuna and all kinds of in-betweens. So, whoever thinks that ballpark food is hotdogs and beer has never explored the possibilities of chow one can find there. Just because food served up in fancy restaurants distracted by a pretty presentation doesn't make it better than good ole' ballpark food. 

After all, the hot dog is warm, filling, and salty and compliments a cold beer quite well.

Even though certain items such as peanuts, beer, Cracker Jacks, hamburgers, and yes, hotdogs—have become the central part of baseball grub, it wasn't the case when baseball first started. 

At first, ballpark food was centered around ham sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, or ham and cheese sandwiches in certain exceptional circumstances! As the game's popularity grew, so did fans' palates. Ice cream, lemonade, and popcorn became popular concession items as well! Since then, ballpark tastes have come along way, and today it has showcased world-renowned chef creations, regional specialties, and offerings of outrageous baseball bites. Ranging from a peanut-butter-and-jelly bacon burger, BBQ pork parfait, Twinkie Dogs, Churro "Dessert" Poutine, and grasshoppers (yep, the insects like in Mexico!) Even vegan and kosher options!

Chef Ryan Curry from Northern California has the recipe for persuasion and proudly serves it to anyone who thinks a Stadium Chef can only cook hot dogs and peanuts, "It's something that took me a little while to come to grips with," says Curry. 

People think stadium chefs are uncreative and uneducated carnies that schlep stale hot dogs and pretzels to crazed fans. Maybe that was the case 25 years ago, but "stadium chefs today are creative, out-of-the-box thinkers that hold culinary degrees, great leaders, and look good on TV, if possible," explains Curry. 

Slated to begin his fourteenth season in sports, Curry crafts recipes and leads a food service team that prepares culinary delights for thousands at a time during professional baseball games, soccer matches, and industry conferences. 

He was ranked a Top 10 Chef in Minor League Baseball by Sports Illustrated in 2010. "It wasn't my favorite dish, but it received the most buzz of anything I've ever done. It was a cheeseburger on an artisan green chili bun, ghost pepper cheese, and topped with a red chili cotton candy poof, called the Tumbleweed Burger," says Curry. Featured around the nation on sports and news shows and even made it to the BBC, and a cooking show called "The Hairy Bikers" that went out of their way to feature it on their show when they were doing a tour of Route 66. 

"The year before, I came in as runner up for the best new menu item for Venues Now for a Green Chili Peach Flambé. I honestly liked that item better than the tumbleweed burger (read HERE)," Curry says. In 2019 for the Albuquerque Isotopes, he even received a lot of fanfare for a dish he created and ended up winning the Best New Menu Item by Venues Now (read HERE).

But for Curry, whose accolades designing stadium specialties was the furthest thing from a dream job. 

"I remember thinking to myself; there is no way I'd lower myself and my career to that of a stadium chef," Curry recalls. 

During the financial crisis of 2007, his Dad had fallen ill. He moved back home to Grass Valley, California, a small town about an hour north of Sacramento that is tucked into the National Forests' line to be closer to his family, leaving a position as Executive Sous Chef at the Marriott in Anchorage, Alaska. "Many restaurants in the area were closed due to hard times. I looked for a job, but they were very hard to come by in the area. Many chefs were unemployed due to closings," states Curry.

For weeks, one particular job that appeared in the paper was a chef position for the Sacramento River Cats, the Triple-A Minor League affiliate of the Oakland A's. "I thought I went to one of the best culinary schools in the country. I worked for premier restaurants, private clubs, ski resorts, and hotels up and down the west coast. Cooking hot dogs and hamburgers was way below me," he said.

His mom finally convinced him to go for an interview advising him that, "It's always easier to find a job when you already have one."

He got the gig, and well, the rest is history.

Curry has been in the food and beverage industry for 27 years. He began his sophomore year in high school as a dishwasher and has worked his way up to currently the Executive Chef AND Director of Food and Beverage at the Rocket City Trash Pandas.

Curry reveals, "to be a ballpark chef, it takes excellent organization, leadership skills, patience, and a good work ethic." He also says, "when you have 200+ employees working for you, you must have patience. You will also put in many more hours than you want. You can't expect your staff to work hard if you are not leading by example." These were skills that he gathered overtime and working with great leaders. "I owe a lot of my success to a GM I had at the Sacramento Rivercats. We butted heads and did not agree for the first half of my second season at the Rivercats. Then something clicked where I put my ego away and realized I could learn a lot from him if I'd stop and listen. It was the most valuable thing I've done in my career to date," he said.

Even though Curry doesn't cook anywhere near what he used to, he explains that his job is more of a Director, which gives his team the information and tools they need to execute successful events, sometimes for ten days or more in a row. "My time is spent writing recipes, scheduling, ordering, inventory, data entry, data analysis, POS systems, research, and spreadsheets. Financial responsibilities like forecasting, budgeting, and cost savings take up a considerable part of my time," he says.

With his new directorial role as Director of Food & Beverage Curry still has a lot to learn as well as learning to playball with other department heads, “I'd be naive to think I'd step into this role knowing the best way to do everything. It's essential that all of us understand what others are going through and what is brought to the table. You don't necessarily have to like your fellow directors, but you have to work well as a team to better the operation. Sometimes ego's get in the way. Or the "this is how I've always done it" mentality. We've all worked hard to get where we are today. I feel I'm more open to suggestions than some I work with. I've slowly realized that I'm not always right or don't always know the best way.”

Not only is Chef Curry dealing with learning how to play ball with other Directors but he is also dealing with curveballs of uncertainty to each event and working with 200+ seasonal, part-time employees also have its challenges. "The call-offs, employee issues, and everything that goes along with relying on a workforce that may or may not feel this is what they want to be doing as a career. When I was working in restaurants and hotels, doing fine dining cuisine, most of my team members were culinary school graduates or had been in the business for a long time and looked at it as a career. The majority of your staff in a stadium environment does not look at the job the same. I am also trying to gauge what 10,000 people may eat during an event. I have a pretty good idea of what will get consumed during most events as I've been doing sports and entertainment for over 12 years. Many factors can swing the attendance of a game, weather, other local events, what players are playing or may not be playing, how the team is doing. I can arrive to work at 9 am, and attendance projections can be at 7,500, but by the time we open gates and get actual attendance, 11,000 could have walked through the gates.  It can also swing the other way, which is very tough to plan. You have to be ready for anything."

He is also dealing with 10,000 critics per event experiencing the venue and criticizing it. He also gets negative feedback, such as fans thinking he is "dog shit and should find another career to pursue." Curry explains, "Let's say your venue averages somewhere around 550,000 fans per year for various games, concerts, and special events. You might make 97% of the fans happy, which isn't always the case in sports and entertainment, but that leaves 16,500 folks unhappy, and not raving about your food. And that was hard for me." Curry continues, "I have a passion for what I do. I also must realize I'm putting my trust and faith into a large team of food and beverage folks to execute my vision and do it the same way hundreds of times per event. We are human beings. Not perfect beings. Things will go wrong no matter how well prepared you are. How well your team is trained. How good your recipes and direction are. Once I got over that, I was able to sleep better at night." 

There is a massive scope food and beverage prepares for that one may not realize, "the meals in the press box to pre and post-game meals, umpire meals, meals for the bus, catering, picnics, concessions, suites, and sports med stadium club etc. Every single hot dog, orange slice, nacho chip, plastic spoon, ice cream cone, and ounce of soda has been planned, cost out, organized, ordered, counted, and executed. For this to happen, 200 employees have to be driving on all cylinders. Food and beverage is the largest department to staff as a whole. Again, It's not just hot dogs and hamburgers as most think," he explains.

Positive customer service sets many venus apart. Every facet of the stadium operations is essential in the overall positive customer service experience, from the parking attendants to the ticket takers to security to ushers to cleaning crew to food and beverage workers to on-field entertainment to store clerks, and to visual production. "It all comes together for a truly memorable experience for our fans. If one area fails, it starts a domino effect. Suppose a fan has a bad experience in any area, their perception of the real event changes. Of course, I like to think F&B has the biggest shoes to fill, and I will preach that to my team to rally them, but we are only as good as the rest of the stadium operations. So, in other words, we are number one!" Curry laughs.

But Curry is most proud when he works with young kids and molding them into future leaders in the culinary world. "My first sous chef at Raley Field got transferred to be the chef of a large casino in Idaho. My two sous chef at Raley Field was transferred and became the chef for Cal Expo and Bonney Field. My third sous chef at Raley Field was the chef for the El Paso Chihuahuas and is now the chef for the Albuquerque Isotopes. My current sous chef at Toyota Field was a lead cook of mine at the Isotopes and was transferred to be the sous chef for Texas Tech, and then I stole him from there to help me open Toyota Field."

I asked him what he enjoyed most about his job, and he said, "I love getting to be creative and thinking outside of the box. I've had a lot of fun in sports and entertainment. I fell in love with it. I love sports and always have. Even though you don't get to watch much of it or even know which team is winning most of the time, being in the environment is electric. The excitement and the roar of the crowd are intoxicating, and I love the grand scale of it all. There are 75 different areas of a stadium where food and beverage coincide throughout the day. From pre-game meals for the home and away team, post-game meals for both teams, umps, media, multiple concession stands, numerous catering areas, food portables, 35 luxury suites, club areas, restaurants, etc., etc.," 

With his experience working in MLB, NFL, MLS, and many minor league baseball kitchens, he states that "the kitchens and concession stands here at Toyota Field are by far equipped the best I've seen. We are very fortunate here."

If you are curious about Trash Panda food, make sure to head over to Toyota Field this season and get yourself more than just a hotdog!

Ryan Curry is a California native and a graduate of the California Culinary Academy. Curry has 24 years' experience as a professional chef and has worked for Major League and Minor League teams, restaurants, country clubs, resorts, and hotels up and down the West Coast from California to Alaska. Curry also served as Executive Chef for the 2016 Major League Soccer All-Star Game in San Jose, Calif.  

He is also the Dad of a sweet dog named Basil. 

"Love in Time of Rona" - Irénke Ónádi

This tale is yours to tell
Flip the script
And own your piece of history
In this time when we find ourselves
Alone
Together - Larissa Nemeth

Nature Enthusi-Artist Sammy from Feather Box says, “It looks a little bit like creativity, and a little bit like chaos.”

Comrade Larissa says, “Corona time is time for art, play, a slowed pace and deeply comforting at-home activities: baking, gardening and laughing just to name a few.”

Love in Time of Rona

Carina, “Homeschooling is a lot easier when you have a cat.

Hannah is still working; she's drawing blood at a COVID testing site. So each night, after she's gone to bed, I leave her a different quote from the Harry Potter books on our chalkboard. We are both huge fans of the series .

The working from home life. Taking advantage of having windows and lovely house plants in my new workspace.

Adhering to social distancing by getting our daily dosage of sunshine on the back deck...even if it is a little chilly!

Lunchtime runs...I discovered some paths less traveled off the bike trail near our house. Great way to exercise, stay distant from others, and be in nature.

I broke down and bought a PS4...I'd been wanting one for a while and quarantine seemed like a good enough reason to make the purchase :)

Cauliflower Tacos...YUM. We've been doing lots of home cooking and the results have been delicious! |

In an effort to control screen time, and because I love to, I've been reading like crazy. This one has been the best thus far! Photos

I LOVE MUSIC, been listening to some old favorites and many new tunes.

1. Hurry up and wait

2. Informed and available 

3. A little old history, while making History

4. How it all started

So far our time in quarantine has been filled with virtual learning, gardening, and daily outdoor adventures!

1. Crocheted a reusable produce bag!
2. Prepped the garden
3. Sunbathed
4. Husband baked brioche bread, then made it into French toast 
5. Made back ups due to shortage (JK  but I really did crochet this)
6. Celebrated my husband’s birthday in quarantine. Quiet, peaceful and perfect ️

Food, The Moon, Dogs, Nature

The 2020 Vision

We walked into the new decade of 2020 with the idea of the "perfect vision" for the upcoming year. But nowadays it's trendy to wear glasses that aren't even prescribed, so we all can have that "perfect vision." But to say we had to spend more than a quarter of 2020 quarantined…well, we definitely didn't see that one coming! 

"It's a bird… it's a plane … it's…NOT Superman!?"

Thanks a lot, trendy glasses! I guess they are only meant to be fashionable and not practical, are they even sustainable? I hope the return policy still applies!

With the cancellation and delays of sporting events, major music festivals and artists have also postponed their concerts. Let's just hope that summer doesn't get canceled! (#dontcancelsummer) It might be as bad or even worse than canceling Christmas! Has the Grinch given up on Christmas and decided to take over Summer? (you start singing You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.)

During this time of the blurred vision, we had to adjust our eyesight to the "new normal," which has left that 20/20 eyesight permanently blurred, and there is no laser fixin' this one folks. 

Thankfully the internet experts have given us a surplus of tips on how to maintain some sort of routine or "normalcy" because you know staying at home not interacting with other human beings and wearing gloves and masks in public isn't "normal." Except for the few who spend most of their time in their own world plotting to take over the world, like Pinky and the Brain – thankfully, they are only just lab rats.

As much as I tried to follow the advice of internet experts, I found myself very much even more so out of routine and way out of character, such as watching IGTV videos of Hillary Duff doing makeup tutorials (I don't even follow the girl on Instagram). I also found myself coming across YouTube videos of Shallon Lester, who analyzes celebrity relationships. I couldn't believe that I watched a 20-minute physic analysis on JLO and AROD's relationship at 2 in the morning! Like, who am I becoming? I was also swallowed by YouTube videos of paparazzi filming and photographing celebrities on the street who keep getting hounded with the same question. I thought to myself, is this actually a job?! I can't believe people get paid to stock people. For what? I also jumped on the bag wagon watching Tiger King (but not downloading TikTok) … 2 things that I took away from Tiger King. (1) I can never look at cheetah print, tiger print, or whatever cat print on clothing the same again. I know its a print that "will never go out a style," but I think Tiger King really made it unfashionable, and (2) Joe Exotic would make a PERFECT WWE character! As a matter of fact, they ALL would make perfect WWE characters. Maybe we should bring them to the ring, put them in a cage, and see who comes out alive as the REAL Tiger King!

I started eating and sleeping at any time of the day because that's what happens when it's just days and no such thing as time! The only normal and in-routine thing I saw was that the Starbucks drive-thru is still super long! I guess America Runs on Starbucks NOT Dunkin' because Starbucks is actually in all 50 states, and Dunkin' is not (I dare you to Google it)! 

I have also noticed how the arts and natures contribution to our well-being is quite evident during this time, which brought even more light to the case of how IMPORTANT they are.

Oh, we are also in the middle of a campaign because, its election year! 🤣A quick side story here: A few years ago, I was a suite waitress at a ballpark, and when we were not attending our suites, we would all hang out inside this room. There was this very liberal individual, and this very conservative individual who would always go at each other and have these hardcore political debates. To be honest, it was quite entertaining to be witnessing it because it was fun to listen to two perspectives, but what was funnier was how pissed they both would get, sometimes one of them storming out of the room. But as the season went on, I started to notice that these 2 individuals just like to argue, obviously with each other, but all they really wanted to do was argue and fight (just like how some people just want to complain). So should we all just you know, "agree to disagree"? I'm sorry I have a dumb question, are we in business for the long term or short term? 

No matter if you are sticking to a "normal routine" or finding ourselves riding the wave of emotions, so far 2020 didn't give us that "perfect vision" but provides us with the perspective that can't be prescribed or bought. We have given the opportunity to step back, slow down, and look at the big picture and stop offering compromises as to why we aren't able to do something about it.  We have been confronted. Confronted individually and collectively pondering the answer to the question, "Are we really waiting for a return to normal, or are we ready to build something different?" 

If we fail to see that, then maybe we should focus on getting some binoculars for Christmas so we can readjust our perspective and see the details from a distance plus, there is also a thing called bird watching!

So, cheers (or salud) to always working on our perspective instead of seeking the "perfect vision." 

By Cristina Byrne

OPINION: The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Words By Cristina Byrne

A wave of emergency floods not only our feeds and the media but our daily lives. A very contagious virus called COVID-19 is currently running the world (Beyoncé might want to change her lyrics) and teaching us how to do Tony Hawk’s signature move (a 900-degree spin in midair).

We are bombarded with reminders to wash our hands, how to wash our hands, and don’t touch our face, things I thought we already knew before we even went to school.

We are suppose to be practicing social distancing but wouldn’t it be technically called physical distancing? But what do I know, I never paid attention in school.

People are scared while others, like those young and untouchable spring breakers, are YOLOING it up! If you think about it, there is a bit of irony behind “You Only Live Once.” Do whatever you want because you only live once but you can’t do whatever you want because you only live once. Either way, if Drake copyrighted that phrase he could have been retired from rapping already.

People are clinging on to whatever they can but more so to TOLIET PAPER...?! I would like to understand the thinking behind the fear of not being able to wipe your own ass! But I guess if it all goes to shit it would make the most sense! Has anyone in the media actually interviewed someone who was partaking in this act of nonsense? They have created followers to pursue leaving the rest of us to use corn husks like “the good old days” you know, natures way. We really should just make bidets a thing and skip the TP all together, it’s only creating MORE waste. Plus, we are clogging the toilets people and no it’s NOT all that TP – it’s those damn Clorox wipes that are being flushed away.

Grocery stores have become bare as consumers buy all the meat, pork, chicken and even liver leaving some of us to become forced vegetarians during these times of combat (we “need” our animal protein)! Pasta has been wastefully spilled on the floor, rice and beans have not been seen, potatoes are at a scarce and the sweet potatoes are not successfully found. Which left those who didn’t get first DIBS with no option but to buy that “expensive organic crap.”

Americans’ food options have been limited; will we ever take advantage of our options again? During times of war, people became resourceful with their meals learning how to make the food stretch. Luckily, in the 21st century, we have a thing called TAKE OUT #supportyourlocalbuisnesses ya’ll!

And the bare shelving doesn’t mean a shortage of food; it only APPEARS that way but don’t worry, we will most likely run out of money before we run out of food in the U.S of A.

Thousands are now out of work but there is plenty of beer and wine to go around for the whole neighborhood, enough apples to make granny’s famous apple pie, and of course gourmet cheeses because nobody is having any fancy parties these days. There is also plenty of fruits and veggies which is to no surprise because who likes to eat them anyways?! We are all about that East Coast Carb Diet (pizza, pasta, donuts, and bagels).

Be careful what you read, what you hear, and what you spread (no pun intended) because that’s how rumors get started (or #fakenews) like pets getting COVID-19, I actually called my vet and asked because she would know NOT the internet.

But of course with all madness there is goodness or with all mayhem comes yayhem (Yup, I am making up a word).

From Shakira’s Instagram’s: “So proud of the positive efforts of companies in these difficult times, like my partners at Puig, who’ve turned over their perfume factory to the production of vital hand sanitizer to donate to the Spanish government. A great example of doing social good. I hope it inspires other companies” to Microbreweries, Motor Companies, and more factories nationwide are halting their usual production to do their part.  News also reports since weddings and birthdays are getting canceled due to our need to social distance people have gotten creative and starting celebrating with drive-by parades. Musicians giving out free concerts to keeps us all at bay.

Parents are now forced to stay at home with their children and understand what teachers deal with on a daily basis, thank God the only kid you have to deal with is your own. We are figuring out our creative hobbies and even though this isn’t “vacation time” you now have the time to work on that “Million Dollar Idea.”

No more excuses and no more complaints about not having enough time “to do whatever”! Folks you asked for it and now you got it, so do something about it!

Lots of babies might be conceived, learning how to consume only what you need, and realize that ‘Netflix and Chill’ is now getting old because there is only so much tube one can see. And all this time we didn’t take advantage of going outside, maybe we should rethink how we use our time.

Will there be a rain check on the St Patty’s Day parade?

People are slinging mask instead of dope out in L.A, two ladies stand on opposite sides of the road talking to each other on the phone while still getting in their 10,000 steps for the day.

And let’s NOT talk about the political climate, pa-pa-please! It all just sounds the same to me.

I naturally question, what businesses are booming? How will the afterlife of COVID-19 be? Should I change my career path to something that is “more of necessity”? You know like one of them “real jobs” with a 401K? Maybe I should be a salesperson and sell whatever is “of need.”

Tom Brady is no longer a Patriot, Justin Bieber has an album called ‘Changes,’ and Warren Buffett handed over his keys.

Hmm…there has been a change of breeze.

To quote my 87-year-old Grandma, “Everyone is crazy, except for me!” and proceeds with a laugh.

What a hoot this is and so is she and so are all we.

P.s. I am still looking for work and the humor is free!

ENTRY: A Truly Green Holiday By Jesse Damiano From Outside The Box Market

For so many of us, the holiday season brings to mind traditions that we have taken part in since we were young children. Baking cookies, listening to Christmas music while we drive to relatives houses, wrapping presents and hiding them around the house, and maybe even visiting theaters for local Holiday Pageants, A Christmas Carol, or The Nutcracker ballet.

Over the years though, this list has grown even more and has filled with some new “traditions”. Going out on Thanksgiving evening to start Black Friday shopping with the masses, waking up early on Cyber Monday to snag the best deal online, striving to get our holiday shopping done as early as possible so we don’t have to be bothered with it anymore, buying the latest hideous masterpiece for our ugly sweater parties, and picking out the perfect collection of new wrapping paper that all coordinates beautifully with our home decor this year.

Okay, maybe this list hasn’t been yours, but it has been mine for the last decade until finally last year I realized that something was amiss. All of the new “traditions” were focused on something that the old traditions weren’t: consumerism and money.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally enjoyed going out every year with my sister and our friend to find the best Black Friday deals. But after hours of shopping we would come home with empty wallets, huge credit card bills, and for some reason always at least one new pancake griddle (we blame sleep deprivation). Instead of being hungover from Thanksgiving martinis, we had headaches from fluorescent lights and dehydration - and the shopping of the season wasn’t nearly done! There were still hours of online browsing and the dreaded mall shopping ahead of us. Finally, one day, weeks later, while at a Cookie Swap party surrounded by sugar and friends, we could make the proclamation, “I am officially DONE with my list.” Everyone would cheer and clap and be jealous. Then the following evening at an Ugly Sweater Party we would all compare our tacky, pre-fabricated, holiday swag that we got at the local big box store one day when we hurriedly stopped on our commute home from work before bringing our kids to their evening activities. Life was grand, and I was broke.

I wanted and needed to make my holiday different. I didn’t want to just check people off of my list by buying them things they didn’t need. I didn’t want to see mountains of shiny wrapping paper being shoved into bags and thrown into the trash to make their way to a landfill. I wanted to have a holiday season that was about love and togetherness, and that didn’t negatively impact the planet.

But how?

BUY WHAT YOU NEED AND BUY SECOND-HAND

Although we all love those horrible ugly sweaters, do we really need to buy a new one every year? What do people do with their old ones? You know, the one that they wore literally once last year. They either get thrown away (eek, that polyester Rudolph isn’t going to biodegrade anytime this century), donated, or brought to a thrift store.

So why not start there?? Check your local thrift stores, use apps like Mercari or Facebook Marketplace, or join your local Buy Nothing groups to find seasonal items this year.

Do you really need the newest, trendiest holiday decor? Try this easy tip… decorate with what you have before buying any new this year. A lot of the items you have may have sentimental meaning and swapping those out for new or trendy decor might make your home feel less authentic. Some of my favorite ornaments are the ones that I remember decorating my tree with when I was a little kid or ones that got passed down to me from my grandparents. Yes, keeping up with the trends in decor may make for a more pleasing Instagram feed, but it doesn’t allow sentimentality to be fostered. Plus, when those trends are no longer hot, where will those items go? Even if donated, there is a high likelihood that they will make their way to a landfill (and sit there for a really long time if made with any man-made materials). Instead of giving our kids a more polluted Earth, let’s give them the gift of tradition and sentiment.

GO FOR ECO-FRIENDLY GIFTS

You are looking at the last few people on your list and you have no idea what to get them. Before you know it, you are buying several scented candles, bath scrubs or a bottle of perfume you saw on display at the store checkout. Do the people you are buying those gifts for really want those items? Or will they be tossed soon after the New Year has been rung in?

The most eco-friendly option you can go with is to provide your loved ones with experience-based gifts. In fact, studies show that children remember experiences more than they remember items! So, how about some concert tickets or movie passes? Maybe take your kids to an indoor water park for the weekend as their big gift, or go on a daddy-daughter or mommy-son date. Manicures, massages, babysitter-for-a-night… there are so many experience gifts to choose from! A quick google search will draw up lists upon lists.

If you are still stumped or like the idea of giving somebody an actual gift, why not get them a gift they could actually use while simultaneously helping the environment and promoting sustainability. To keep this easy, here are a few suggestions of items you can find right on Amazon:

● Collapsible reusable shopping bags: Don’t you hate when you get to the store and realized you forgot ALL of your reusable shopping bags at home?? This is the solution. These small bags have an attached carrying case that you just fold the bag up into. Once they are folded, they are only the size of a baseball! Yet when fully expanded, they can easily fit as much as a normal plastic grocery bag. They can be kept in your purse, your car, or your coat pocket. They also have a bunch of cute designs so have fun finding the best one for your friends and family.

● Clothing made from recycled and sustainable materials: Do you have young adults or teens on your list who like to wear the trendiest clothes? Why not try brands like Girlfriend Collective, Threads for Thought, or Recover Brand? They make their stylish clothes and outerwear in all sizes and great styles. Speaking from personal experience, they are also super comfy and hold up well in the wash!

● Sustainably-sourced chocolate with compostable wrapping: Alter Eco chocolate takes the cake on eco-friendly chocolates. Not only do they source from farmer-owned co-ops practicing sustainable agriculture, they also use compostable packaging, and have worked with their cacao partners to replant the rain forests where their beans are grown. They are available online, or even at Wegman’s and Whole Foods. Also… so yummy.

● Toys with less packaging: For little ones, check out Green Toys brand found online and in stores. This brand uses recycled plastics and virtually no excess packaging. It is simply a toy… in a box. Kid tested, mama approved.

● Check out OutsideTheBoxMarket on Instagram for some more eco-friendly gift ideas.

ECO-FRIENDLY HOLIDAY PARTIES

Not only do we see an increase in people’s waists over the holiday season, we see a tremendous increase in garbage waste! Think about it, you go to a holiday party and there are appetizers. You grab the small, pretty plastic plates and load it full of veggies and dip on your first round. On the second round, you add some bacon wrapped scallops, spinach and artichoke dip with tortilla chips, and some unidentified cheesy chicken spread with chunks of fresh bread. Now, being completely full, you throw the plate and utensils in the trash bin. You go over to the drink area and take a plastic wine glass or traditionally-festive red solo cup, fill it with your drink of choice, and start mingling. Later, for the dinner course, you get a large plastic or styrofoam dinner plate, a second set of utensils, and pour more food down the hatch. Afterwards, you discard that set of plates and utensils and after a few minutes of trying to find your red solo cup amongst the sea of shiny-red plastic on every surface in the house, you decide to just get a new one. A few more minutes of mingling, feeling disgustingly full and talking about how after the holidays we all need to go on a diet, and then the gift exchange begins. People draw numbers from a hat and get to choose the lucky gift from a pile of nondescript, festively decorated boxes that contain items that they probably won’t use because you were the first to go, you get the wonderful job of collecting all the wrapping paper from everyone else’s gifts. A few people in and your plastic trash bag is already full. You ask the hostess for a new one and when all is said and done, you have 2.5 trash bags full of single-use wrapping paper, tissue paper and bows. The kids of the family move on to opening their gifts and now even more trash bags are needed to collect all of the plastic and cardboard packaging, styrofoam and twist-ties that have been used to secure their new toys to the box they came in (secure enough to survive the apocalypse most times). And now... the desserts come out. Another small plastic plate, another fork for that delicious looking pumpkin pie, and a new napkin to wipe the whipped cream from the corners of your mouth as you shove down even more rich food. You leave that evening, with your new pancake griddle you know you won’t use, feeling more stuffed than any time you can remember in recent history, and you head home to rest up for the evening because you get to do this all again tomorrow at your work’s annual holiday bash. As soon as you get in the car, you undo the top button on your pants and think to yourself, how am I going to make it through!?

No matter what diet you follow, paleo, gluten-free, Atkins, vegetarian, keto, vegan or no “diet” at all, there is no disputing the fact that the majority of meat we consume here in the US is from animals raised in pretty rough conditions that contribute a lot of excess carbon emissions to our atmosphere. Whether factory farms or dark chicken houses, unless you are buying grass-fed, organic meat from a local source where you can literally SEE the animals, you unfortunately don’t know what you are getting. You might not care where the meat is coming from in terms of your diet, but the environmental impact of our meat-raising practices in the US is huge. One of the best things you can do for the environment this season, is to reduce the amount of meat you consume and prepare. Eating as plant-based as possible is not only going to help you reduce those button-popping moments on the car ride home, but it will also lower the impact on the planet. If you are the host preparing for the party, instead of adding another rich cheesy appetizer, try a fresh salad with a light vinaigrette dressing. You can even make a tray of roasted veggies and put out some festive, reusable toothpicks. Rather than cooking a roast and a turkey, try choosing one and doing a light garlic and oil pasta dish instead of the second meat option. And when you are deciding on dessert, go with a big bowl of fresh fruit, or a light vegan-style apple crisp. Your guests and your planet will thank you!

For small dinner parties, there is another option that may make you hesitant at first because it involves doing more dishes, but hear me out! Those plastic plates and utensils that make our lives so convenient, are used for a few hours at most, often only a few minutes. Yet, they will last on our planet for centuries. Centuries! They will still be laying around in a landfill or floating in the ocean or clogging up some river or stream when your great-great-grandchildren are roaming the Earth in their cool hover-cars. One of the best things you can do to reduce your waste this holiday is to use the plates, utensils, and glasses you have in your cabinet instead! You don’t need fancy china, just your regular old dishes. In fact, doing this gives a feeling of authenticity to the party that is often lacking. Between courses, you can do a quick-run of your dishwasher if you are low on plates, or do some hand-washing. You can even encourage people to save their plates in a spot off to the side. It may take some getting used to, but instead of having 2 large trash bags of plates, cups and plastic forks at the end of the night, you will simply have a sink full of dishes. There are even local dish-lending libraries who you can borrow plates from to supplement your own and as long as you clean and return them, there is no charge.

Check out Austin Dish Lending Library for an example - Here

One of the biggest areas of waste that we discovered from our holiday party scenario was the gift wrapping. I’m sure you know this problem all too well. After the craze of un-opening presents, we look around the house and it looks like Buddy the Elf was there and had a temper tantrum. I have great news for you though. The wrapping paper…. Can be avoided. Reusable wrapping paper is actually a thing. It’s called fabric! And now that I have gone this route, I will never go back. Last year I decided I was going to wrap most of my presents in pre-decorated holiday boxes and fabric. I simply added bows and ribbons to the boxes to embellish them a bit and then I would collect it all when we were done opening gifts. For the fabric, I got holiday fabric on sale after the holiday to stock up for the following year and just cut swatches of random sizes to accommodate different gifts. I tucked the edges in and instead of using tape, I held the whole thing together with pretty ribbons. It was actually way more fun than I expected it to be and nobody was weirded out by it. The kids still got the experience of opening a gift, that just didn’t get to rip wrapping paper into tiny little pieces and smash it into the carpet -Darn!

After all is said and done, the holidays are supposed to be about family, friends, and togetherness. Somewhere along the way, we started focusing more on gifts, photo-worthiness, and keeping up with the Joneses despite the negative impact that it had on our greatest gift of all, the planet we live on. Through buying smart and purposeful gifts, wrapping them using reusable methods, and reducing our party waste, you can have a more authentic holiday experience filled with memories and far less stress.

Wishing you all a Merry and Green Holiday!

 
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About:

My name is Jesse Damiano and I am the founder of Outside The Box Market. I am a science professor and karate school director by day, and an environmentalist 24/7. I am a wife and a mother of two boys, ages 16 and 13.

I started Outside The Box Market because I am ready to see change in the way we buy and sell food here in the United States. We are all crunched for time and money but the amount of plastic and waste we produce has had a major negative impact on our planet. It isn’t about saving our planet anymore; Earth will continue on for many more years. It is about saving people. We need biodiversity, we need clean air and clean water, we need food that doesn’t contain high amounts of metals or dangerous chemicals. Even more importantly, our kids and future generations will have to live with whatever state the planet is in when we leave it. The least we could do is TRY! Every little step counts.

Currently we are a social media influencer (check us out on Facebook and Instagram) but one day we hope to have a storefront where people can buy high-quality products without plastic packaging.

STORY: The Joy Of Christmas Is In The Experience

New Holiday Traditions

By Christina Ihnken

My first Christmas as a newlywed taught me that expectations and traditions – especially if they are not your own - usually end in disaster. I had unreasonable expectations for our first Christmas because being a newlywed in my first house and my first Christmas ever in the United States, I thought I had to prove that I could do it all. I felt the pressure even before Pinterest made all my efforts look inadequate and before the “Baby it’s cold outside” controversy.

 Here we were. Colorado Springs. It was our first Christmas and it had to be PERFECT. There would be family and friends to judge me and pictures to remind me of success or failure for the rest of my life. (Note: I couldn’t find a single picture today) Everything had to match, meaning a slight variation in color from the ruby red dishtowels to the dark ruby red hand towels was unacceptable. While I was stressing out over every little detail at home, Ryan drove up the mountain into the forest to pick out the perfect tree and chop it down himself. On the way up the mountain his truck got stuck in heavy snow; after digging himself out he got a speeding ticket that cost more than the tree, and back at the house the tree was so tall no tree topper would fit. The sticky sap from the tree-covered our new hardwood floor before I had a chance to put down the carefully selected tree skirt. The sap would not come off the floor or the tree skirt, and the pine needles were stuck in the carpet throughout the house and could be found around furniture and stuck in socks for months. To top it all off, at the end of the season we were so frustrated with the tree that we decided to open the window and throw the tree into the backyard instead of dragging it all the way through the house to dispose of it. Out the window it went, right onto the shiny new grill Santa had brought weeks prior. The dreaded tree ripped off a door and left a nice dent.

This year, 10 years later, I somehow find myself experiencing the extreme opposite.

I didn’t plan to not decorate at all for Christmas, but I did consciously decide to not pack any Christmas decorations when moving from the United States to Belgium. As I was packing in June I thought it would be a waste of space to bring along any decorations plus most of them needed to be plugged in and I wasn’t going to buy a generator to convert my blinking lighthouse collection from 110 volt to 220 volt. The plan was to pick up a few things in Belgium. Now one week before Christmas there is no Christmas tree, I don’t have any Christmas cookies baked and there are no decorations at all at the house, inside or out.

Presents have been wrapped in the least festive Christmas paper available (Thanks to my husband for picking up mushroom vampire paper as a joke) and they are tucked away in my closet because there is no tree to place them under. If it wasn’t for Alexa playing Christmas music, you wouldn’t even know Christmas is right around the corner.  

Looking back at past Christmases, I don’t remember many of the decorations I had or any of the presents I got but I remember all the wonderful people I met along the way that became extended family and the traditions they shared with me. Everyone I met had different traditions like watching a certain movie, eating a particular dessert or going for a drive around the neighborhood to see all the holiday lights, and most of those traditions stuck with me and will always remind me of the person I picked it up from.  I feel very lucky that this year I’ll be celebrating with new friends again and maybe learn about new holiday traditions.

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2019! Here is to making new friends, embracing new traditions, and for me hopefully finding a happy holiday decorating medium next year. 

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The Maker of Christmas

By Larissa Nemeth

As a kid I was a huge believer in magic, as well as a strong proponent of NEVER under any circumstances, peeking behind the curtain.  I always wanted to BELIEVE the magic, not BE the magic.  Well, my friends, that day has come - fast forward 25 years and here I am, the wizard herself.  Pulling all the strings and pushing all the buttons that infuse a season with whimsy and wonderment. I have become the maker of Christmas.

 If I'm going to be honest here, which I may as well be, its sort of great.  I can't say with any definition WHEN the switch occurred, the change from being more excited to get the present to being more pumped to give it. But it happened. The shrieks of excitement when our elf, Jingles Joyberg, moves from inside the cookie jar to hanging upside down from the light fixture or the anxious reading of a note from Santa or simply getting to open the next day on the advent calendar. Seeing my kids alight with cheer is one of the reasons to take pause in the hectic machinery of running a family. All of their delight and anticipation gives me joy. Maybe the careful, hard work I put in to creating an atmosphere of magic reaps a greater result because of the emotional investment? I wonder what the science is behind all of it... 

I would, no doubt, be lying if I said that I DON'T pine for the unsullied joy of the childhood wonder of Christmas past. However, I now derive a simpler pleasure from the season.  The lights, the  baking, the live performances, the planning, the overall sense of goodwill- in short, the Christmas Spirit. Everyone can find something to be warm about in this one short month. Believe me, it would behoove you to, mainly because after the holidays it is just cold, damp and dark in the northeast with no reprieve in sight.  I encourage all Grinches to cave - just give in, and admit - it's magical, dammit!

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Does Santa really exist?

By Cristina Byrne

There is an idea presented to us of what Christmas looks like, leaving us with those expectations of what its supposed to be like. I can’t necessarily speak about those expectations because I only know about my experiences.

Christmas comes once a year, as you know every year at the same time. For some, its shopping lists, donations, work parties, family, friends, church, gift exchanges, get-togethers, drinking, the weather, lots of eating, a movie, a show, getting engaged, caroling, or Chinese food. It can be hectic, it can be busy, people can be crazy and they can be given. “The bells are ringing, children are singing, oh what a beautiful time.”

Can I wish you a Merry Christmas? Or is it a Happy Christmas?

For me, the first part of my childhood Christmases were spent in Caracas, Venezuela where my Abuelita lives. Every year we would go down there and it was always a big hurrah with the familia! The days were filled with traditional Venezuelan food such as Pan de Jamon and Hallacas, there was singing, dancing, exchange of stories and outings. We cheered, we laughed, we play a dice game called Cacho and to top it all off there was even a visit from Santa Clause himself. Yes, Santa personally delivered my Christmas gifts! I am not sure who's idea this was to actually have him jiggle his bells through my Abuelita’s front door but not until last year was it revealed that it was my Tio Manuel who occasionally dressed up as the Fat Man in the Red Suit. I have very fond memories of those Christmases and every once in awhile I doze off to re-live them.

Back to school from break and the question was asked, “What did you get for Christmas?” At the time it seemed like an innocent question to ask or be asked but somehow it felt and was even interpreted as a moment to brag about what you got, what you did or what your holiday looked like – oh the expectations! I mean who wouldn’t want to talk about what happened over Christmas? Like the time when you got a Lava Lamp because they are cool or how you were the only one that found it funny to give a whoopee cushion as a gift exchange. How your Dad is a “practical guy” and he likes to give things of necessity like toothpaste or scissors and who still hides your gifts in the tree. The times when you and your brother came home from college and binge watch movies and never left the basement as everyone else was out at the bar. The time when your Grandma gives you an 80’s yoga book that she found in her closet and a 5-year-old desk calendar telling us that it can be used for origami. The time you hiked part of the Appalachian Trail and the Mexican Pyramids, saw the Christmas Tree in New York City and in Chicago, how you accidentally went to Mexico on the way to Bolivia, spent Christmas in foreign and domestic land and pondered about the infamous question of, “Does Santa really exist?”

Now, every kid comes to a moment in their life wondering about this question. Either older siblings tell you or the kids at school do but my mother would always answer, “If you believe it then its real.” It was that simple. I realized that it was never about Santa Clause or a “Merry Christmas” or the kind of gifts you received or how many gifts you got or the wrapping paper used or any expectations that needed to be upheld. It was about believing in the magic and creating the magic which are life lessons that I carry with me to this day.

From my first Christmases in Venezuela to the present day, I have no expectations for I only have experiences.

“God bless us, everyone!”  - Tiny Tim.

STORY: All About Hugging

“Hug it Out” by Larissa Nemeth

I was waiting in line to get in to a venue for a show in Philadelphia recently.  These congregations tend to skew a bit on the awkward side- I guess it’s due to the bizarre mix of locals, college kids who think they are locals (but aren’t), suburbanites who travelled to the city for their “big night out” and of course the wild card folks who don’t fit any type of profile I could think up.

 It was a rainy and stressful trek into the city that night and I stepped sideward out of the line, courteously, to smoke a cigarette.  Out of the damp and gloom stepped a man- he appeared to be homeless- twice my size or more (not that large of feat if you ever saw me).  He approached me asking in a lighthearted but incredulous tone “Ha! You FOLLOWING me girl?!”. Since I definitely wasn’t, I didn’t quite know what to make of this inquiry. I laughed and returned bluntly “No, man.” Of course, next he asked me for a cigarette.  Not like I NEED them, so I handed one over. I also was not positive how benign the situation was at this point- I like to think myself street-smart to a degree, so while I was sizing it up I had my hand clamped tightly over my crossbody bag, glancing back to my squad still in line. I was planning my return to them when he asked me the most utterly ridiculous thing.

   “Can I get a hug?” I whipped around, shocked really- but also feeling like I needed to get the hell out of there because this COULD NOT be the start of a positive experience.  I shook my head, “Ah, man, no, I’m sorry”... he stayed, badgering me a little “come on, can’t I get a hug? Just a little hug? Come onnnn, gimme a hug!” I hate that type of persistence. It’s a thing about men in general I can’t stand. Their ironclad will to continue to make a situation uncomfortable even when you’ve made it clear you want nothing more to do with it.  It made it easier for my “no” to become firmer.

  At this moment, he stopped. He looked me straight on in the face, his large dark eyes met mine, unblinking. His jovial tone was gone-  and he said the most serious thing any stranger has ever said to me “Please. I really need a hug”.

    Every ligament in my body went lax. I swiveled around and threw my arms around him and held him there, just for a second or two- silently. I let go, smiled, and walked away- my group had reached security at the door to the club.

    I called back to him, “You’re welcome!” because I know my hugs are awesome and also because I know I really gave him a little breath of myself, a small momentary connection-and that I wanted him to appreciate it. I did it because I knew in that instant that he really really needed it- and that in a small way I made him happy for a moment.  He said as I was leaving, to the crowd at large, loud enough for them to hear “Yes. Real people- they get it. It’s real”  and then something about “Aren’t we all just people? We all need to feel loved. We all need to be cared for. We need it!”. I’m pretty sure his sidewalk proclamations continued when I went inside. I didn’t look back again. The band was amazing. I went home. I retold the story to myself as I fell asleep in my bed at my house and I smiled.

 “Or Not” by Cristina Byrne

Rejection is always painful or at the very least awkward but being rejected for a hug feels especially personal for some reason. Can we all agree that most people would rather avoid conflict than initiate confrontation, especially if the stakes are low. I’d say accepting a one to three second hug from someone you don’t like takes a lot less energy than avoiding the hug or ignoring the person altogether. Unless you have a really good reason, we accept it.

I went up to someone to congratulate them with a hug and got rejected. I proceeded to hug the next person in line to try and play it off but it was still awkward. At that moment I knew exactly how Keesha felt when she tried to give Jerry Seinfeld hug.

I walked away from the situation and took a moment to reflect. I realized that I invaded someone’s personal space, which I have the tendency to do. My intention is to be warm but I am sometimes unaware of what boundaries are set into place. Maybe this had nothing to do with me and this person is simply not a hugger. So the rejection was understood and forgiven, and I moved on.

But later, I saw my “rejector” hug another person. I was confused and immediately went down the dark rabbit hole of wondering questions and thoughts.

“How come some people get to invade someone’s space and others don’t? 

“Does this explain how some people can get away with murder and others don't?” 

"Do I smell?"

As I made my way back out of the rabbit hole, I came to the conclusion that the first question we should ask when we approach someone is, "How should I greet you?”

“And Embrace the Awkward” by Christina Ihnken

I just recently moved back to Europe from the United States and was immediately reminded that here, to greet someone, you don’t hug but kiss each other on the cheek.

In Austria you give 2 kisses, one left, one right, but only to friends and family, and even then, this is mostly something girls do. In the french part of Belgium, where I live now, one kiss on the cheek is customary.

Imagine me walking up to a restaurant and three of my husband’s new friends are waiting for us, ready to meet me. To make a good impression for my husband’s sake, I took a big step outside of my comfort zone and leaned in for a hug with the only female in the group and as I had both arms wrapped around her, she did not engage in the hug but instead she kissed my cheek. I released her immediately, remembering out loud “Sorry, forgot I'm in Europe”. We both chuckle and all was well.

Moving on to the next person, a guy, I extended my hand as in my mind only girls, friends, and family get a kiss, but he leaned in to kiss my cheek instead. As I pulled away after one kiss, I realized I left him hanging halfway for a second kiss on the other cheek. “I’m French. In France we give two kisses” he explained, and I leaned forward to receive the second kiss to not be rude. As we were indeed close to the French boarder this made perfect sense. I nervously laughed it off and replied, “same in Austria”. At this point I was already confused and embarrassed but I had one more person to greet. He didn’t extend his hand, so I thought to myself “two kisses in France, here we go”, but NOPE, I got one kiss on the cheek and as I leaned over for the second kiss, that person had already turned away to greet the next person in the circle. 

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Here is what we’ve learned sharing our stories. It all comes down to this:

Meeting someone for the first time can be uncomfortable for both parties. We don’t usually remember what someone said to us when we first met them, but we do remember how we felt. Therefore, wouldn’t it be nice if we meet people with the intent of making them feel welcomed instead of worrying how we are perceived? 

If someone asks for a hug, give them a hug, unless they smell. If someone denies you a hug, their loss, because they must not know about the amazing health benefits of hugging. And if you made a complete fool out of yourself, move to a different country and start over, but remember to learn the local customs first.

Whatever the situation, as long as you are being genuine, you have more to gain than you have to lose.

ENTRY: Journal Entry of Entrepreneur Sarah Lieswald

In July of 2015, I decided to make a huge leap and go out on my own as a graphic artist. I left my 9-5 graphics position and could not have been more excited and scared at the same time. I was confident that I would be successful. I mean, you have to be confident when you make a leap like that, or at least pretend to be. I was definitely pretending. But, the leap took me out of my comfort zone and it’s the best thing I could have done. Two and half years later and I’m a very different person.

I don’t mind being told what to do when I am in an environment that is productive and everyone I am working with is invested in a joint effort. I do mind putting effort and time into a job that is not invested in me. When I left my job I had been disheartened that I couldn’t make a bigger impact within the company. I wanted to do more and have more freedom. It terrified me to think about sitting in the same desk five or ten years down the road. I wanted more in life and knew the only way I could do that was to take some risks.

Deciding to go out on your own and be 100% responsible for your income changes someone in a lot of ways. No one is going to pick up the slack for you or do your work for you if you’re sick and no one is going to pay you vacation time. Starting out — at least for me — these are things I realized that were initially difficult to cope with. I’ve learned that being 100% accountable for everything you do can also be a blessing. When I worked as a 9-5 employee I felt accountable for my work, but I really wasn’t. If a client wasn’t happy my manager dealt with it. If something needed to be done over the weekend then it waited until Monday. Now no one is there to clean up the messes, I have to own them and fix them for myself. This may sound undesirable but, when you reach a higher level of responsibility you reach a point where you start to improve yourself, personally, to match. This is good, it puts you in tune with a whole new level of self-exploration.

Now, let’s talk about expectations: What I am doing now is not what I had imagined. Yes, I am creating art for paying clients, but I also a developed a second income. About 6 months into going out on my own I realized I needed a supplemental income. I was making money but I wanted to be making more and I’d read frequently that it was smart for entrepreneurs to have multiple sources of income. I knew I wanted my second source of income to be something where I could control the hours and pay, so I decided to try dog walking. After a few months, I started to acquire regular clients, now I walk 5 to 10 dogs a day. I love it. It’s been the perfect partner for my design work and still allows me freedom. When I first started walking dogs there was a level of shame I held onto. I’ve always been too worried about what people thought and I worried that people would think I was a failure because I wasn’t a graphic artist 100% of the time. I thought they would think I was a joke because I was walking dogs for a living. There probably are people I know that think what I do is a joke. It wouldn’t surprise me and nothing I do is going to change their minds. What I’ve come to realize is that too many people live their lives doing what they or other people think they should be doing. People get caught up in what society dictates as success. I’m happy and I love what I do, I’m not sure how many people can say that.

There’s so much advice out there and so much you can spend money on to help you figure out what you want in life. My advice is to take risks and learn that going against the grain can be one of the best things you can do for yourself. The journey of self exploration is messy, but I guarantee you it will be worth it.

Art Work Created by Sarah Lieswald

““One of my current art projects is creating illustrations from quotes that inspire me. For the longest time I struggled with making personal art because I felt like everything had been done. The world we live in is very saturated, I’ve come to realize that it’s unrealistic to think that anything you make can be 100% original. What I focus on now is how to make art out of what influences me. Obviously, my influences always need to be given credit, but I don’t think there is any shame in creating art because you are inspired by someone else’s work. We all need some kind of muse.””